The following is a list of books, arranged alphabetically by author, that have had an important role in shaping the ideas that inform the Good Husband Work.  The books with asterisks are particularly important and sit on a bookshelf in Robert’s therapy office, and he will often quote from them in therapy sessions.

Robert M. Alter,
The No-Nibbling Book: 128 Things to Remember or Do at the Refrigerator Door So You Won’t Open It

Robert M. Alter with Jane Alter,
How Long Till My Soul Gets It Right? 100 Doorways on the Journey to Happiness

Swami Anantananda,
What’s On My Mind? Becoming Inspired with New Perception

Robert Bly,
Iron John: A Book about Men*

Dan Brown,
The DaVinci Code

Swami Chidvilasananda,
Inner Treasures*; The Yoga of Discipline*; My Lord Loves a Pure Heart*; Courage and Contentment*, Sadhana of the Heart

Simone DeBeauvoir,
The Second Sex

Eknath Easwaran,
Gandhi the Man

Riane Eisler,
The Chalice and the Blade

Carol Flinders,
At the Heart of This Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger with a Feminist Thirst*

Betty Friedan,
The Feminine Mystique

Kahlil Gibran,
The Prophet

John Gray,
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

David R. Hawkins,
Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior

Harville Hendrix,
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
*; Giving the Love that Heals: A Guide for Parents
(co-authored by Helen Hunt)*

Judith Herman,
Trauma and Recovery

Harvey Jackins,
The Human Situation
; The Upward Trend

Judith V. Jordan, et al,
Women’s Growth in Connection: Writings from the Stone

Carl Jung,
Memories, Dreams, Reflections

Sam Keen,
Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man

Thomas á Kempis,
The Imitation of Christ

Lao Tse,
Tao Te Ching

Anne Lamott,
Bird by Bird*, Traveling Mercies

Abraham Maslow,
Toward a Psychology of Being

Alice Miller,
Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries
*; Thou Shalt Not Be Aware*; For Your Own Good*

Jean Baker Miller,
Toward a New Psychology of Women

Jean Baker Miller and Irene Pierce Stiver,
The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life

Kate Millett,
Sexual Politics

Michael Moore,
Stupid White Men

Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette,
The King Within: Accessing the King in the Male Psyche*

Swami Muktananda,
Play of Consciousness; Where Are You Going?; In the Company of a Siddha*

Rebbe Nachman of Bretslov,

Augustus Napier,
The Fragile Bond: In Search of an Equal, Intimate, and Enduring Marriage*

Peace Pilgrim,
Her Life and Work in Her Own Words*

Joseph Chilton Pearce,
Evolution’s End*; The Biology of Transcendence*; The Bond of Power*

M. Scott Peck,
The Road Less Traveled

Terrence Real,
I Don’t Want to Talk About It; How Can I Get Through to You?

Jalaluddin Rumi,
The Essential Rumi
(translated by Coleman Barks with John Moyne)*

Zalman M. Schachter and Edward Hoffman,
of Light: Counseling in the Hasidic Tradition*

Saint Thèrése of Lisieux,
Story of a Soul

Henry David Thoreau,

Irina Tweedie,
The Chasm of Fire*

Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee,
The Call and the Echo: Sufi Dreamwork and the Psychology of the Beloved*

Marion Woodman,
Addiction to Perfection
*; The Ravaged Bridegroom*; The Pregnant Virgin*

Paramahansa Yogananda,
Autobiography of a Yogi



 If you are seeking individual psychotherapy or marriage counseling, ask around among your friends for some referrals.  You can also ask your family physician or clergyperson.  If you can’t get a referral, you can go to your local phonebook and look under “Mental Health,” “Psychotherapists,” or “Marriage Counselors.”  You may also contact national psychological organizations:

To find a psychiatrist in your area, call 1-888-35-PSYCH.

To find a clinical psychologist, go to the American Psychological Association, found online at, or you can call their therapist locator number (1-800-964-2000).

To find a clinical social worker, contact the National Association of Social Workers online at

To find a marriage and family therapist, go to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, at

To find a mental health counselor, call the American Counseling Association (1-800-347-6647), or go online to, or

To find a pastoral counselor, go the American Association of Pastoral Counselors at

See also GOOD HUSBAND, GREAT MARRIAGE, pages 209-10, 322-23, 326-28, for further suggestions on finding a therapist.

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